As a psychotherapy provider, I’ve sat with people who’ve hesitated to speak up for years—sometimes decades—because of something they heard once: “Therapy’s not for people like me.” “If I talk about it, I’ll fall apart.” “It’s not bad enough.” “Therapy means I’m weak.”
These aren’t just passing thoughts. They’re deeply internalized myths that shape how we see our pain, and whether we believe we’re allowed to seek help for it.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your struggle “counts,” this post is for you. Let’s set the record straight!
Myth #1: “You have to be in crisis to go to therapy.”
Truth: You’re allowed to want more than survival.
I see this often in young professionals—functioning on the outside but burning out inside. Maybe you’re holding it together at work but collapsing at home or the toll of the chronic stress and anxiety of your job has turned you into a shell of yourself. Therapy isn’t only for moments of collapse. It’s also for the quiet stuck-ness, the aching loneliness, the patterns you’re tired of repeating, and when you’re not living as your most authentic self. Healing doesn’t have to wait for catastrophe! In fact, healing prevents catastrophe.
Myth #2: “Talking about trauma will make it worse.”
Truth: What stays buried, festers. What’s met with care, transforms.
When you carry trauma it shapes your nervous system, your relationships, your reactions, and your sense of self. I work with many trauma survivors who’ve learned to minimize, compartmentalize, or intellectualize their pain because they have come to rely on these learned defenses to function. Much like a dam made with twigs, these defenses may slow the flood, or even pause it momentarily, until it starts leaking and eventually crumbles, sometimes letting the rush of water through with more force than ever.
In therapy we don’t just talk about trauma. We work with it—in your body, your emotions, your narrative. We go at your pace. And we make space not just for the pain, but for your resilience. Processing and metabolizing trauma allows you to live more comfortably, intentionally, and authentically.
Myth #3: “Anxiety just means you’re stressed. Try to find ways to relax.”
Truth: Anxiety is not a productivity flaw—it’s often a survival response.
If you’re constantly on edge, overthinking, avoiding, or bracing for something to go wrong, it’s not because you’re “too sensitive”—it’s because your body has learned to prepare for danger, even when none is present. The physiology behind anxiety lies in various internal systems such as the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, the limbic system in the brain, and neurotransmitter activity—a far more complex, biological response than transient stress elicits.
Therapy aids you in decoding what your anxiety is trying to say, understanding what has led your body and brain to have developed this response, and build a regulated nervous system that feels safe enough to unclench so that you are not living your life feeling constantly on edge.
Myth #4: “Depression means you’re sad all the time.”
Truth: Depression can feel like nothing at all.
This myth is dangerous because it erases the many forms depression can take—numbness, irritability, shame, mental fog, exhaustion, and so much more. I often hear clients say, “I’m not depressed, I’m just tired.” But when that tiredness feels bone-deep, joyless, and unshakeable, something deeper is usually happening.
Clinical depression cannot be simplified to sadness; it can mean sleeping days away, not recognizing yourself in the mirror, forgetting what your laugh sounds like, neglecting your hygiene for extended periods of time, having difficulty with memory, speaking and moving slow, finding no pleasure in anything (even simple things like music), and cutting off friends and family.
In therapy, we explore not just how you’re feeling but why your mind and body may be shutting down in the first place. The answer may not always be obvious—sometimes it requires a deep dive into your past, your history, and your habits.
Myth #5: “Needing help makes you weak.”
Truth: Denying your pain isn’t strength—it’s survival. For LGBTQIA+ folks, BIPOC individuals, and anyone raised to believe vulnerability is dangerous, asking for help can feel like betrayal, when in fact, refusing to ask for or receive help is nothing but a betrayal to yourself, your wellbeing, and your growth.
Breaking out of the shroud of silence society asks us to uphold and making the decision to prioritize yourself above societal expectations is a true hallmark of courage. There’s power in letting someone witness the parts of you that have been hidden. There’s strength in being fully seen.
Myth #6: “Couples therapy means your relationship is doomed.”
Truth: You don’t wait until your car breaks down to change the oil—why wait to tend to your connection?
Couples therapy isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness. Maybe you’ve stopped really talking. Maybe you keep having the same argument. Maybe you’re grieving, parenting, or just trying to find each other again.
In therapy, we don’t just work through unmanageable conflict—we work toward understanding, repair, connection, depth, harmony, and growth in your day-to-day experiences together to make your relationship a source of uplifting companionship rather than obligation, routine, or pain.
None of us are perfect—we all have experiences which impact us in ways we can’t always control or aren’t even aware of. Sustaining long-term, deep relationships requires guidance, reflection, and recalibration from time to time—it’s merely a part of inevitably flawed humans coming together.
Myth #7: “Therapy is endless—once you start, you’re in it forever.”
Truth: Therapy is not forever; it’s a season of intentional change.
You don’t owe anyone lifelong therapy, not even your therapist. Some of my clients work with me for a few months to navigate a transition. Others stay longer to explore deeper relational or developmental wounds. We decide together what makes sense for you to achieve your goals.
Therapists are encouraged to draw from various theories and frameworks for this very reason—for example, brief, solution-focused therapy tailors more to problem solving while psychodynamic therapy seeks to address deep, subconscious wounds. Your needs determine what therapy looks like for you. There is no contract or obligation; in fact, therapy is about empowering you to reclaim your agency and seek a space for healing that is all about you, whether that means a few sessions or a few years, the choice is yours and no one else’s.
Why These Myths Persist—and Why They’re Dangerous
These myths aren’t just misunderstandings. They’re systemic. They come from cultural messages about toughness, shame, independence, and who is “allowed” to struggle.
They convince us to white-knuckle through pain we were never meant to carry alone. There’s a reason we existed in tribes and not as lone wolves!
You are not a robot that exists merely to fulfill the needs of society—you’re allowed to want more than just surviving. You’re allowed to get help before things fall apart. And you’re allowed to define healing on your terms.
A Space That Sees You
At Darby Integrative Counseling, I offer more than symptom management—I offer presence.
My approach is grounded in person-centered values, psychodynamic insight, and trauma-informed care. Whether you’re navigating trauma, burnout, identity exploration, or relationship wounds, this is a space where you don’t have to perform, shrink, or over-explain. You get to just be.
Curious what it would be like to finally feel understood?
Reach out and schedule a consultation here. Let’s talk—not just about what’s wrong, but about what’s possible.